survived this hump day

I survived this Wed. Its almost midnight and then this day will be over with. Today is my little sister Tabitha's birthday and I found out from her mom that she is spending it in jail. I want her to have a good life and I want her to get away from the drugs. I have offered her a way to get a new life and a new start but, she says she will and then has her excuses. I think jail might be the best place for her no matter how much I love her then in Oct. I hope the judge gets her to a rehab where she can get the help she needs. I know her children need her and I know she needs to straighten up her life.


We went to church this evening Calvary Baptist is a good church but, I could not help but wonder as Dennis and I sat at a table together yet alone where do I fit in?Everyone has there own little clicks. Sure they are friendly to us while at church but no one really embraces us. I know it is wrong of me but, I know I never really fit in anywhere. I want to have that family feeling so bad. Is it bad to want someone to accept and love me and have me a part of theirs lives as I want them in mine? I know God love is unconditional but I find good christian people still judging. Maybe its because we aren't wearing the nicest clothes, we are broke?Heck I don't know but, I find it hurts me.


I got this sent to me in a group I am in today and wanted to share it on here also.Makes me think even more. I thought I had found a place I belonged but, I don't know anymore.


Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for YOU, declares the LORD.""Never give the devil a ride; he will want to take over the driving." Dear Woman of God, Be still for a while and praise God for His favor, His grace and His awesomeness. God is able to do the impossible and is always near. He loves us unconditionally. Together, let's get 1000 ladies to praise Him with one voice in this next hour. Please forward this to every woman you want God to bless. Let's all say this prayer during this hour: Dear God, This is my friend whom I love and this is my prayer for her. Help her live her life to the fullest. Please promote her and cause her to excel above her expectations.. Help her to shine in the darkest places where it is impossible to love. Protect her at all times, lift her up when she needs You the most, and let her know when she walks with You, she will always be safe. Amen! Now you're on the clock . . .Tell nine sisters you love them, including me. Get going girl!!Do not ask the Lord to guide your footsteps if you are not willing to move your feet.

invisible

Hmmm good to know I am not invisible but, I can tell I am not high on your friends list. As normal she comments her and chats her while my messages and I get ignored.Do I need to shout and cry every time to be noticed? I am so sick of always coming to be second. I don't treat people as they treat me I think if I did I wouldn't have anyone talking to me. Maybe I need to just stop commenting or trying to chat them up then maybe just maybe I would be missed?Nah, I think your right I wouldn't even be missed!!So why bother right!!I think I am done with trying!!Going back to sitting in my corner where I am loved and adored by all....oh no wait thats just the reflection of me....All alone :(

We are all visitors to this time, this place.

We are merely passing through.

Our purpose here is to observe, to learn,

to grow and most importantly to LOVE...

and them we return home.

Friend should be Radical;

They should love you when you're unlovable,

Hug you when you're unhuggable,

And bear you when you're unbearable.

A Friend should be Fanatical;

They should cheer when the whole world boos,

Dance when you get good news,

And cry when you cry too.

But most of all, a Friend should be Mathematical,

They should multiply the joy, Divide the sorrow,

Subtract the past, And add to tomorrow,

Calculate the need deep in your heart,

And always be bigger than the sum of all their parts.

Vessel of Mercy

Lord make me a channel of your peace When I am depressed show me compassion and do it with ease. Let me see that there is more in life then just me Fill me to the brim and only mercy let me see. Open me up and let my light shine For other peoples problems are greater then mine. Take away that stubborn nature that ties me down Lift me up and plant my feet on solid ground. I wan to be all that you want me to be My service is your desire Give me angel wings and let me fly a little higher. Make me a vessel of mercy Father, make me a vessel that's true Fill me love and compassion and fashion my heart to a vessel worthy of you. Unknown Author I'm going through a dry time,Lord; I feel no joy inside. It seems that You are far away and not here by my side. I know I have to trust you, Lord, but sometimes I feel so weak. I feel my prayers have floundered...Lord, I need to hear You speak. Love, Your Child