Waiting

Well while I am waiting for Justin to get off work. I thought I'd just say I am actually doing okay. Letting go and knowing I did what was best for me isn't hurting and lingering as much this time as it once it. No tears will be shed for you. Helps to have all my real friends rally for me to. I am not facing it all alone.

     Life proves to be surprising to me sometimes. I have been going through so much change in the last few months. I am watching Justin my 16 year old son grow up way to fast. He has his DL will be in the 11Th grade when school starts back up in the spring and he has a part time job at Wendy's. I am so proud of him out of his older siblings he has done so much on his own with out thinking something is just going to be handed to him. My youngest Joshua is 12 and will be going into Jr High school in the spring. He is also now in the youth at church and getting to do things he has never done before and he is loving it.

     Today I am dealing with the pain of having to let go of a friendship that meant a lot to me. A friendship I have had a very long time. I had to think long and hard about it but, Dennis said I can not continue with this toxic friendship anymore. Dennis said she is nothing but a spoiled  who will always have her mommy and daddy to lean on and pay her bills and keep a roof over her head while she boo hoos on the internet to people she thinks are her friends and plays the victim and look at poor pitiful me ..feel sorry for me...Okay so that's Dennis view of her but, after a talk he asked me sit there and write down all the good things now write down all the bad. Now tell me when has she ever really been there for you? How many times has she held your hand and been there? She really hasn't. She will never be on your level Amy. She don't know what its like to have children and to struggle wonder how your going to feed your kids or keep a roof over your head. I guess in a lot of ways he is right. Our friendship has been toxic. I am still in shock though I never thought she would of done what she did. Talk about me like that behind my back then lie and say she didn't say any names okay does that make it any better? No, you still ran your mouth about someone you supposedly cared about. Someone who was suppose to be your best friend. How sad are you that you need attention so bad you stooped so low. I am sorry this is not the kind of friend I want. I can not trust you and never will again. So, yes it is best to say good bye and be done with the friendship. I have other friends and I know God will open the door for me to have another Best friend a better good friendship for me. Not one who will constantly hurt me.

     On a better note Rebecca came to visit with her daughter Elizabeth a week ago. I really enjoyed our time together. I also really love those girls. We had good talks and a great visit. We all went to Schlitterbahn in Galveston. Which included Dacoda and Justin GF Heaven. We had so much fun. 

     Our AC went out in the house and has been out now for 9 days the AC man came out and looked at it and is waiting on the part we need to fix the mother board. Its been so hot in my house we cant do much like cook or clean way to hot so the place is starting to look a mess. I think we have been way to patient and it is really starting to piss us off. We have been camping out in my bedroom I have a small window unit that try to keep my room cool but, at times its even over 80 in my room. Just wish that part would get here and soon.

figures we messed the dates up

Today started off pretty early for this mamma. I had had about 3 hours of sleep when I hit the floor running because I had to get over to the new house to unload the stuff from Justin's room into the new house. Well it was a good thing I had a few minutes to look at my kiddos DL paperwork because he has actually missed his driving test day by 3 days it was on the 22nd not the 25th and of course I never looked I just assumed what was said was correct so now he has to go back on Tuesday and take his DL driving test at 4. Poor kid I know he was so disappointed. Well we will get it done just a few days later then originally planned. This weekend is a 3 weekend holiday we will be getting everything moved out of this house and moved to the next. I am so excited to get into our big house. Life will be good finally lord knows we deserve this good fortune. I praise god in the glory.

His birthday

Today is my youngest 12th birthday.  I can't believe how fast the years have passed. Josh will also be starting the 7TH grade that means Jr high school. Wow! I know josh will love the 3ds system we bought him

Sandman

I really hate when I finally go to bed. Even really late and I lay there for hours wide a wake.  My brain just won't shut down. Got so much going on. Ready to be moved to my new house next week can't get here fast enough.

falling apart

I am so excited and upset all at the same time. Is it possible to have one of the best Christmas' ever and yet it be one of the worst also? Well I can honestly say this one has been both of those. This one is a great one we was able to get the boys gifts this year without asking for help to get them gifts or for a Christmas dinner we did it all on our own. I can not wait till the morning when they open there gifts and to see the smile on their face.
Why is it the worst you ask me? 4 days before Christmas my landlord Brad Dunster comes to tell us he has sold our home due to back taxes and we need to move in 30 days. The other is what happened today. On our way home there was a bad accident at our drive way so we decided to go ahead and drive on to Bubbas to get lottery tickets and something to drink. We never made it there on as a car coming at us somehow side swiped us with a deer between us. Destroyed the whole driver side smashed in the door, smashed the window and mirror. and crushed in the back gas panel area as well as totally knocked out the back tail lights. I am thank full it was not worse but, we are stuck with a vehicle that can not be repaired since the other driver took off and did not stop. I am devastated with everything that is going on. It seems that it is all falling apart and if we didn't have bad luck we wouldn't have any at all. I am praying that the lord will provide. I just dont understand why all this bad stuff is happening to us.

cant understand...

I am so confused about why it is that when you tell you children not to do something,they are going to make sure they are going to do just what you said not to. I am so angry right now. It is a constant battle with my son Dacoda. I know I did not raise him and he has only lived with me since the end of May but, I think if I was him I would want to do everything in my power to appreciate finally being home and out of that god for saken awful system in all those different facility's. He doesn't lift a finger to help around here until we get so darn mad we had over come with anger. We should not have to point out what needs to be done everyday. He should put more of an effort in wanting to be a part of this family but,no he does the opposite and I am just about at the end of my rope with him. He would rather tell a lie then tell the truth and this is constant. We are constantly having to bail him out like he recently did an FFA fundraiser. He was suppose to turn in the money and check that fri(a lie) so Dennis counts and looks at hos sheet all the money and checks is there when he is sent off however, instead of turning it in he keeps it all weekend and spends a night at a friend of his all weekend and we was unware of this till much later. Anyhow one of the church ladies Dacoda screwed comes up to us and says she never got her ham but her check cleared. He still swears it somehow got mixed up instead of admitting he spent someone elses money and guess who has to pay for it? Not Dacoda he has no job!!
So, today when they want to go out in the woods and shoot bb guns I tell them no stay by the back of the house. I go out to get in my car to go get Dennis and guess what they are blatantly out in the woods where I told them not to go. On my way back home my son Justin calls and tells me Dacoda shot Neely my almost 10 yr old mini Doxxie. Sure enough I see an entrance wound and you can feel the bb under her skin. I am lived about now and screaming yep he has pushed me over the edge my animals mean a lot to me. I am so upset at this point that he once again blatantly was not shooting that stupid bb gun in our designated area.
So, here it is 10oclock at night and Dacoda never ever once told me I am sorry mom. I know this is going to cost you a lot of money what can I do to help you pay for my mistake? No, the only thing I got from him was I didn't mean to. I do not know what I am more pissed about him shooting my dog?or him not giving a damn about what its gonna cost me?or him not telling me he is sorry!!
I know he really screwed up but I dont think its to much to ask for a reaction from him.RIGHT!
I still love him but I really do not like his actions.