disappointments...

     So, I haven't blogged in a while. I was hoping to have more to blog about and keep up with this thing called blogging but,so far it hasn't worked out that way.
     I started a new class at Walden this week I am studying Intro to sociology. I don't think I am liking this class so much and so far it has not been an easy class. I really don't like my instructor he/she has not been helpful what so ever when I don't understand something. I have meet some pretty cool classmates though who also live in Texas. 
     I had a birthday yesterday I turned 39 I look back and I think to myself wow where has the time flown too? I cant possibly be this old already. I want to be young again and have my children as babies. Speaking of babies my oldest Brittany will turn 20 years old tomorrow. I was going through her photo album seeing her so small and innocent breaks my heart and tears welled up in my eyes. I want to go back and savior the moments something I did not do when I was young I had no idea how time would fly.
     I was recently contacted by someone I said I would not allow back in my life. yet there I was stupid me eager and excited as a puppy jumping up and down with my tongue hanging out for her attention. I am so so stupid cause all it caused me was great disappointment. I should know things can and will never be as they once was between us. Maybe its best if I not continue to be on what she calls a talking basics. Why do I continue to do things that cause me pain and hurt?